How to Read Body Language

Reading body language, or non-verbal cues, is a way to infer things about people you see around you or have interactions with. When you know how to do it, reading body language can tell you a lot about someone's feelings, mental state, or what they really mean when they’re speaking (especially if they’re lying). Understanding non-verbal communication can even help you connect better with people and build better relationships, so take some notes!

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Understanding Body Language

1. Get to know a person's "baseline" behavior. Everyone has their own unique quirks and habits. Knowing how they usually act can help you recognize when they're behaving unusually so you can investigate if something's wrong.
   
   • For example, if your daughter is usually excited and chatty after school, but she comes home listless and quiet one day, then something is probably bothering her.
   • Or if a guy you know usually keeps his hands to himself, but keeps finding reasons to touch you, it might mean you are special to him.
2. Know that body language isn't quite universal. People are diverse. Cultural norms and developmental disabilities can impact someone's body language. For example, if you assume that people who avoid eye contact are always untrustworthy, you're going to misjudge a lot of innocent people.
   
   • "Trusting your instincts" may not work perfectly if you're a neurotypical interacting with a neurodivergent person (e.g. an autistic person). Many of them struggle with being misjudged when they're doing their best. It's better to give them some leeway and get to know them for who they are.
3. Pay attention to multiple cues before you jump to conclusions. It's easy to misread small things, so look for more than one cue.
   
   • It's especially important to be cautious before accusing someone of lying. If you're wrong, you may hurt your relationship, so don't rush into it.
4. Don't be afraid to ask people what's up. Asking questions can help you understand them and could even bring you closer. Invite people to tell you what's going on with them. Here are some examples of things you could say:
   
   • "You keep glancing at the clock. Do you need to be somewhere? We can catch up later."
   • "You keep fidgeting and wincing at noises. Is it too loud in here? We could go sit outside instead."
   • "Hey, I'm getting the impression you might be avoiding Pat. Am I mixed up, or is he bugging you? I could make an excuse for us to go home."
   • "Hey, I'm having a hard time reading you right now. Is something wrong? I'm here to listen about anything you'd like to tell me about."

[Edit]Facial Cues

1. Eye direction: Neurotypical people tend to look at what captures their attention. If someone looks at you most of the time, then they're probably paying attention to you. If they keep looking at a clock, they might be worried about the time. In group settings, someone who keeps looking at someone else might think this person is especially important to them.
   
   • Looking down can be a sign that someone feels shy or insecure.
   • Staring into space can be a sign that someone isn't paying attention. However, this can be normal for neurodivergent people who don't want to get overwhelmed.^[1] Use other cues to help give you the full picture.
2. Eye contact: Eye contact varies by person and culture, but sometimes you can make inferences. How much eye contact a person makes can offer clues into how interested and comfortable they are right now. It's also handy to know their baseline, because some people naturally make more eye contact than others do.
   
   • Intense eye contact: Some liars make lots of eye contact because they think it makes them seem honest. Socially awkward people also may overdo eye contact because they think they're supposed to.
   • "Normal" eye contact: The person is likely paying attention to you. While it can be politeness, it may also be a sign that they're enjoying the conversation.^[2] They might even be into you romantically!
   • Rare/no eye contact: The person might be shy, intimidated by you, overwhelmed, or just avoidant of eye contact in general. Sometimes, it's a sign that they could use some help to get more comfortable (whether it's a reassuring word or moving to somewhere quieter).
3. Raised eyebrows: Raised eyebrows are another common facial cue that someone is feeling uncomfortable. Worry, surprise, and fear are all types of discomfort, so when someone raises their eyebrows, they might be feeling any of these emotions.^[3]
   
   • Raised eyebrows can also be a sign of insincerity. For example, if someone compliments your outfit with their eyebrows raised, they might not really mean it.
   • Other times, people may raise their eyebrows when they feel curious.
4. Crow’s feet: When a smile is genuine, the corners of their eyes crinkle. When someone is forcing a fake smile, these crow’s feet don’t appear. Eyes don’t lie!^[4]
   
   • Look at a posed photo where everyone’s smiling on command to get an idea of what it looks like when smiles are forced.
5. Clenched jaw and furrowed brow: Together, these are often an indication that someone is feeling stressed or worried. People often tighten their neck along with their jaw and their brow, so they might rub their neck involuntarily when they’re stressed, too.^[5]
   
   • For example, if you’re a manager and you ask a subordinate to work over the weekend, a clenched jaw and furrowed brow might show you that the proposal stresses them out. You might want to reconsider asking them to do you the favor!
6. Grimacing: Grimacing is when someone’s muscles around the mouth start pulling back. This kind of grimacing reaction can show you that someone is panicking or feeling uncomfortable inside. Many facial cues such as this, known as microexpressions, are involuntary, so you can tell the truth about how someone is really feeling by observing them.^[6]
   
   • People may also show microexpressions of discomfort or fear when they’re lying. So, be wary if someone starts grimacing when they’re telling you something!

[Edit]Gestures

1. Crossed arms and legs: In a conversation or a meeting, these non-verbal cues can often indicate resistance to your ideas. Many people do this involuntarily, which is a symbol of being mentally, physically, and emotionally blocked off from someone.^[7] It could also mean that a person feels insecure or guarded.
   
   • For example, if you’re in a business negotiation and the other party has their arms crossed, they might not be liking what you’re proposing.
   • However, this can also just be a sign that they think the room is a little chilly. See if their other cues match.
2. Pointing: When people make hand gestures, they usually point in the direction of someone they like or share an understanding with. Watching where someone points when they gesture can be a great way to figure out with who they share a close connection within a group setting!^[8]
   
   • For example, if you’re in a business meeting and the person talking tends to gesture towards someone sitting off to their left, you might want to pay attention to what that person has to say later on.
3. Fidgeting: Fidgeting with hands or legs is often a sign of anxiety or boredom. On the other hand, if someone is sitting with their hands quietly in their lap and their legs still, they’re probably relaxed and content.^[9]
   
   • While some people take fidgeting as a sign of lying, there are many honest reasons for fidgeting too. Avoid jumping to conclusions.
   • People with disabilities like autism and ADHD may fidget more often. This could be a sign of restlessness, but it could also just be their way of improving their focus or staying calm. Intense fidgeting may be a sign they're struggling to stay calm and may need a break or a quieter environment.
4. Self-touching: Touching yourself, from crossing your arms to curling your hand at your chest, can feel comforting. Frequent self-touching may signal that someone is trying to be brave despite feeling a little nervous or insecure. It could also mean they're trying to stay awake while sleepy, or even that they're flirting.
   
   • Make sure to rely on other cues, too. Someone who crosses their arms may be stressed, but they could also just be feeling cold and trying to keep warm.
5. Timing of hand gestures: Liars often use hand gestures after they speak to try and add to the story and make it more believable. When someone’s speaking truthfully, they often use hand gestures at the same time they speak.^[10]
   
   • This is because, when someone’s telling a lie, their mind is too busy making up the story to use hand gestures at the same time.

[Edit]Posture and Position

1. Tall posture: When people stand up straight with their shoulders back, it’s a power posture that shows they’re confident or in charge. On the other hand, a slouching posture projects less power and could be a sign of resignation or lack of confidence.^[11]
   
   • For example, if someone walks into a room and you immediately feel like they’re in charge, take a look at their posture. They’re probably standing up very erectly!
2. Mirrored body language: If someone is mirroring your body language, it can be an unconscious sign that they’re feeling a connection with you. Mirrored body language is a good sign that a conversation or interaction is going well.^[12]
   
   • For example, if someone leans their head the same way as you when you’re talking or shifts their legs in the same direction as you, that’s mirrored body language.
3. Open posture: An open posture, like throwing both hands up in the air, can be a sign of leadership. Or, sitting with the legs and arms spread out to either side can be a display of confidence.^[13]
   
   • For example, when an athlete wins a sports competition, they often throw both hands in the air because they feel confident and dominant.
4. Leaning and turning: People tend to get close to things that interest them and lean or turn away from things they aren't interested in. If someone leans towards you, then they're probably interested in what you're saying (or just interested in you in general). If they're leaning or turning away, then they might like an opportunity to end the conversation.
   
   • Leaning or turning away doesn't always mean they dislike you. They could feel overwhelmed in general, be in the wrong mood for talking (e.g. if they think they might be running late), or think you don't smell good and need a shower. See if they act this way during multiple conversations or if this is just a bad time.
5. Proximity: Proximity is how close a person is to you. If someone stands or sits close to you, chances are they view you favorably! But, if someone moves away or backs up when you get close to them, they might not have such a high opinion of you.^[14]
   
   • You can also observe how close 2 other people are to each other to try and infer what their relationship is.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• If you want to learn more about body language, including advanced reading techniques, there are many expert-written books about the subject.

[Edit]Warnings

• Do not judge a person solely by their body language. Remember that body language is not the sole indicator of someone's status, emotional state, or their relationship with you.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Communicate With Body Language
• Read Men's Body Language for Flirting
• Read Women's Body Language for Flirting
• Interpret Autistic Body Language
• Detect Lies
• Easily Read Faces and Facial Expressions

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://misslunarose.home.blog/2020/04/07/eye-direction/
2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
3. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2017-5#raised-eyebrows-are-often-a-sign-of-discomfort-4
4. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2014-5#look-for-a-lack-of-crinkles-around-the-eyes-to-detect-a-fake-smile-1
5. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2017-5#a-clenched-jaw-tightened-neck-or-furrowed-brow-shows-stress-12
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201206/the-ultimate-guide-body-language
7. ↑ https://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/8-great-tricks-for-reading-peoples-body-language.html
8. ↑ https://fremont.edu/how-to-read-body-language-revealing-the-secrets-behind-common-nonverbal-cues/
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201206/the-ultimate-guide-body-language
10. ↑ https://time.com/5443204/signs-lying-body-language-experts/
11. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/299722
12. ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/299722
13. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-read-body-language-2017-5#expansive-authoritative-postures-show-leadership-15
14. ↑ https://fremont.edu/how-to-read-body-language-revealing-the-secrets-behind-common-nonverbal-cues/

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How to Get Rid of a Headache

The best natural and medically-approved treatments to soothe and stop headache pain

Is there anything worse than a headache? Whether you have a minor throb or a debilitating migraine, they can be a mood buster. But what if we told you there were plenty of ways to help the pain fade away? In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about getting rid of a headache, from at-home care to over-the-counter medications. With our help, you’ll be able to soothe your head and prevent future headaches from coming on.

[Edit]Best Ways to Stop a Headache Fast

1. Hold an ice pack against your forehead to relieve pain.
2. Apply a warm compress or take a warm shower.
3. Drink a large glass of water or have a small caffeinated drink.
4. Dim the lights and avoid bright screens.
5. Get some rest and sleep the headache off.
6. Take over-the-counter pain relievers
7. Try diffusing lavender essential oil.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Know the type of headache you’re experiencing.

1. Not all headaches have the same symptoms or causes. Knowing what type of headache(s) you’re experiencing makes it easier to choose the best treatment and avoid triggers. Refer to the list below to help determine what type of headache you may have:^[1]
   
   • Tension headaches: These are the most common, occurring less than 15 days a month. Often triggered by stress, eye strain, or insomnia, they can cause head pain that lasts around 30 minutes.^[2]
   • Migraines: These can last from hours to days. They usually cause throbbing pain and sensitivity to light and sound. If you’re having a headache that lasts anywhere between 4 to 72 hours, that’s a migraine.
   • Sinus headaches: These are a common symptom of sinus infections, colds, and seasonal allergies and cause pressure and pain around the nose, eyes, and forehead.^[3]
   • Rebound headaches: These are caused by the frequent use of pain relievers or anti-migraine drugs.
   • Cluster headaches: These are rare and tend to occur in cycles. They’re classifiable by intense pain around one eye or side of the head.

[Edit]Drink a large glass of water.

1. Not drinking enough water can cause headaches.^[4] Studies have found that headache symptoms can be caused or exasperated by dehydration.^[5] So, try to drink a large cup of water when you have a headache, and aim to drink at least 6 cups (1.4 liters) of water a day to prevent them from coming on.^[6]
   
   • Carry a filled reusable water bottle with you wherever you go so you’re reminded to drink more water.
   • Try to drink room temperature water if you’re prone to migraines, as extremely cold or iced water could trigger symptoms.^[7]

[Edit]Place an ice pack on your eyes or head.

1. A cold compress can help ease headache and migraine discomfort. When you stub your toe or take a nasty fall, you hold an ice pack to your bruise, right? Well, you can treat a headache similarly. An ice pack or cold cloth can decrease inflammation and constrict your blood vessels, easing the constant throbbing of a headache.^[8]
   
   • Use the cold compress for around 25 minutes, then take a break and see how you feel.^[9]
   • Try using a cooling eye mask to block out light and soothe pressure.

[Edit]Take a warm bath or shower.

1. Warm water can help relax tense muscles and open your sinuses. Relaxing the muscles around your head and neck may help ease tension headache symptoms, while warm, moist air can reduce sinus pressure.^[10] Draw a warm bubble bath or step into a hot shower when your head hurts to find fast relief.^[11]
   
   • If bathing isn’t an option, try pressing a heating pad or warm compress to your head.

[Edit]Dim the lights and turn off screens.

1. A dark, distraction-free room may help soothe your symptoms. When your head starts pounding, step away from any screens, shut the blinds, turn off the lights, and rest. Bright lights can trigger migraines and worsen headache symptoms, so sitting in the dark can bring a bit of relief.^[12]
   
   • If turning off or dimming the lights isn’t an option, close your eyes or place your head under a blanket or pillow to make your own dark, quiet space.
   • Try using an eye mask to keep things nice and dark no matter what.

[Edit]Take a nap.

1. Getting enough sleep can reduce headache symptoms.^[13] Sleep truly is one of the best medicines out there, and it’s completely free! When you have a headache, try napping for an hour or so to help your brain rest and recharge.^[14]
   
   • Make sure to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night, as sleep deprivation can trigger headaches.
   • Limit your screen time before bed so you can wind down before closing your eyes.
   • Try to stick to a regular sleep routine, going to bed and waking up at the same time each day (even on weekends).^[15]

[Edit]Relax with meditation or yoga.

1. Stress is one of the leading causes of tension headaches.^[16] If you’re feeling overwhelmed and notice a headache coming on, take a moment to step back and breathe. Yoga and meditation are great ways to do this, as they allow you to go inward and ease any building tension in your body.
   
   • Try yoga poses like a forward fold, downward facing dog, or head-to-knee for quick relief.^[17]
   • Count your breaths and close your eyes when you feel a headache coming on, rather than focusing on the pounding in your head.^[18]
   • Do deep breathing exercises while you meditate to help calm your mind and nervous system.^[19]

[Edit]Try over-the-counter medications.

1. Tylenol, ibuprofen, and aspirin are designed to counteract pain. These pain-relieving medications can help you before, during, and after a headache. Some of these even have a headache or migraine-specific variations that can target symptoms faster. Simply follow the instructions on the package or talk to your doctor about the right dosage for you.^[20]
   
   • Try to take these medications at the first sign of a headache for faster relief.^[21]
   • Limit your medication use to 2 days a week, as too much could cause more headaches.

[Edit]Use a lavender essential oil.

1. The calming smell of lavender has been proven to ease headaches.^[22] Believe it or not, diffusing a lavender essential oil into the air or rubbing a diluted mixture under your nose may be enough to reduce your symptoms. Just make sure to use an oil that says “100% pure” or “100% organic” on the label to avoid harsh chemicals and additives.^[23]
   
   • Always purchase essential oils from well-known and reputable companies to ensure you get the best quality item.
   • Dilute lavender oil by mixing it with a carrier oil, like coconut or almond oil, in a 1:1 ratio. This will help prevent burns and rashes, especially if you have sensitive skin.

[Edit]Drink some caffeine.

1. Taking a small amount of caffeine when your headache starts may help. Believe it or not, drinking caffeine can help ease your symptoms before they worsen. Combine a serving of caffeinated tea or coffee with some over-the-counter pain medication, and your tension headache may ease itself.^[24]
   
   • Try drinking a tea with ginger in it to ease the nausea and vomiting that may come with more severe headaches.^[25]
   • Be careful when it comes to drinking caffeine, as having too much can cause migraines and possibly a caffeine addiction (which has its own type of headache withdrawals).
   • Doctors recommend having within 150 to 200 mg of caffeine a day, so avoid this method if you’ve already hit your daily allowance.^[26]

[Edit]Stay hydrated when drinking alcohol.

1. Drinking too much alcohol can make you dehydrated. Alcohol can cause your body to lose fluid through frequent urination. Hanging out with friends and having a good time is no crime; just make sure you balance your booze with plenty of water, so you don't wake up the next day with a pounding headache. Or, better yet, limit how many alcoholic drinks you have in one night if you know you’re prone to headaches.^[27]
   
   • Opt for food with a high water content while and after you drink, like watermelon, celery, and cucumber, to help you stay hydrated.

[Edit]Try a magnesium supplement.

1. Magnesium deficiencies can cause migraines in adults.^[28] If you’re experiencing severe headaches, loss of appetite, fatigue, and/or muscle spasms, you may not have enough magnesium in your body. Thankfully, this can easily be fixed with a magnesium supplement or magnesium-rich foods like leafy green vegetables, legumes, and whole grains.^[29]
   
   • Magnesium deficiency is the most common amongst those who have Type 2 Diabetes, Crohn’s Disease, or are taking medications.
   • Talk to your doctor before adding a magnesium supplement to your daily routine, as they’ll be able to tell you the exact dosage you and your body need.

[Edit]Watch what you eat.

1. Chocolate, cheese, and processed foods can trigger headaches. Now, every body and every person is different, but some foods can induce headache-like symptoms. If you have chronic headaches, try eliminating these foods from your diet one by one to see if and when your headaches lessen or worsen. Here’s what you should consider avoiding:^[30]
   
   • Aged cheese (blue cheese, brie, cheddar, mozzarella)
   • Peanuts
   • Pizza or other tomato-based products
   • Chocolate
   • Potato chips
   • Smoked or dried fish
   • Pickled foods
   • Canned soups
   • Cultured dairy products (sour cream, yogurt)
   • Artificial sweeteners

[Edit]Exercise regularly.

1. At least 30 minutes of exercise a day can prevent headaches. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins or happy hormones that block pain signals to the brain. Just a small amount of movement every day can keep your mind and body happy, all while reducing tension or stress-related headaches.^[31]
   
   • Who says you have to go to the gym and lift weights to exercise? Move your body in whatever way that feels good! Maybe that’s dancing, walking, running, or swimming.

[Edit]Try acupressure.

1. Pressing specific points on your body can help reduce muscular tension.^[32] Acupressure has been used for thousands of years to treat ailments, including headaches. The next time your head starts pounding, try silencing the drum using one or more of these trigger points:^[33]
   
   • On your hand: Massage the soft part of your hand in between your index finger and thumb. Apply firm, circular pressure for 4 to 5 seconds.^[34]
   • Behind your ear: Locate the mastoid bone just behind your ear, and follow the natural groove in your neck to where the muscles attach to the skull. Apply firm pressure for 4 to 5 seconds while breathing deeply.^[35]
   • On your shoulder: Locate the point on your shoulder between your neck and the edge of your shoulder. Using your opposite hand (right hand on the left shoulder, left hand on the right shoulder), pinch the shoulder muscle between your fingers and thumb. Use your index finger to apply firm downward pressure for 4 to 5 seconds.^[36]

[Edit]Try acupuncture.

1. Acupuncture can relax triggered nerves that cause headaches. Now, this isn’t a cure or quick relief method but a treatment method. Think of it like taking a regular dose of medicine, but you’re going to see an acupuncturist at least once a week instead.^[37] Studies have shown that those who undergo regular acupuncture therapy has fewer headaches, so it’s worth giving a try!^[38]
   

[Edit]Do weekly massage sessions.

1. Regular massages may help reduce the frequency of headaches. Some studies have found that weekly massage sessions decreased the frequency of migraines and induced better sleep.^[39] With lack of sleep being one of the leading causes of a headache, pampering yourself with a regular massage may be worth a try!
   
   • Massages alone won’t cure a headache—it’s simply a preventative step—so make sure you try other methods as well.

[Edit]Visit a chiropractor.

1. Spinal manipulation could reduce the pain that triggers chronic headaches. Your spine does more than you may think, and if one tiny thing is out of place, it can set everything off! Some people find that a regular visit with a chiropractor helps lessen the severity and consistency of their headaches.^[40]
   
   • Talk to your chiropractor about your headaches and symptoms, as they can pinpoint if and where the problem is in your back or neck.
   • As an alternative, try osteopathic manipulative treatment, which is similar to chiropractic therapy but focuses on improving the body’s overall system.^[41]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Reader Videos

[Edit]Tips

• Not all headaches are the same. If one fix doesn't get rid of your headache, keep trying other solutions until you find one that works.

[Edit]Warnings

• Avoid taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as aspirin, ibuprofen, or naproxen if you have an ulcer or gastrointestinal problems, as they can worsen your symptoms.
• Get emergency medical treatment if you have sudden numbness or weakness in your face, arm, or leg, become confused, and/or have trouble speaking or understanding people.
• If you experience a fast yet incredibly painful headache that lasts about 5 minutes, this is could be a thunderclap headache, which often signal a serious issue. Contact your doctor immediately.^[42]

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Use Reflexology for Migraines
• Reduce Neck Tension
• Massage Away a Headache
• Relieve a Tension Headache
• Cure a Headache Without Medication

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9639-headaches#management-and-treatment
2. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9641-sinus-headaches#management-and-treatment
3. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9641-sinus-headaches#management-and-treatment
4. ↑ [v161340_b02]. 3 April 2020.
5. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/headaches#prevented
6. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908954/
7. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11442559/
8. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003024.htm
9. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1697736/
10. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9641-sinus-headaches#management-and-treatment
11. ↑ https://headaches.org/hot-and-cold-packs-showers/
12. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003024.htm
13. ↑ [v161340_b02]. 3 April 2020.
14. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15985108/
15. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html
16. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16897622/
17. ↑ https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/yoga-by-benefit/headache/
18. ↑ https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/resource-library/understanding-migraine-cattreatmentmindfulness-meditation-migraine/
19. ↑ https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation-in-depth
20. ↑ https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2019/november/migraines-vs-headaches
21. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/drugs/9652-headache-medicine
22. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22517298/
23. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/aromatherapy-do-essential-oils-really-work
24. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5655397/
25. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4818021/
26. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/study-reveals-that-caffeine-can-actually-prevent-migraines/
27. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/headaches#prevented
28. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7551876/
29. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/magnesium-deficiency
30. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9648-headaches-and-food
31. ↑ https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2019/november/migraines-vs-headaches
32. ↑ [v161340_b02]. 3 April 2020.
33. ↑ http://exploreim.ucla.edu/wellness/acupressure-for-headache-or-neck-and-shoulder-tension/
34. ↑ http://exploreim.ucla.edu/chinese-medicine/acupressure-point-li4/
35. ↑ http://exploreim.ucla.edu/chinese-medicine/acupressure-point-gb20/
36. ↑ http://exploreim.ucla.edu/chinese-medicine/acupressure-point-gb21/
37. ↑ https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/resource-library/understanding-migraineacupuncture-and-migraine-finding-a-combination-that-sticks/
38. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3099267/
39. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16827629/
40. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21640251
41. ↑ https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/spinal-manipulation-what-you-need-to-know
42. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17876-thunderclap-headaches

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How to Build Character

What can you do to become a better person?

So, you want to become a better person. You want to build “character.” But what does that mean exactly? Character comes from the Greek word kharakter, meaning “to engrave.” When someone has character, they’re trustworthy, honest, humble, dependable, and courageous—they have every positive personality trait in the book! Building character doesn’t happen overnight; it’s something you gain from experience. We’ll fill you in on the best ways you can start building your character in this article. With our help and a bit of dedication, you can become the person you want to be.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• See failure as an opportunity to grow rather than a mistake to build character from every experience.
• Communicate and have empathetic conversations with everyone to gain trust and learn different perspectives.
• Do things that make you uncomfortable to step outside your comfort zone, experience new things, and learn valuable lessons.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Take risks and accept failure.

1. Character is built when you face the possibility of failure. Failure is inevitable, but you don’t have to fear it! Use risks and failures as life lessons—you haven’t lost something; you’ve gained knowledge and experience. Take a risk every once and while. If you fail, accept it; after all, the best thing you can do is try.^[1]
   
   • Put yourself out there. Approach that cute barista and ask for their number, or volunteer to take on a challenging task at work. Every challenge offers a new opportunity to learn.
   • Look for reasons to act. Instead of making excuses for why you shouldn’t do something, think of why you want to do something. For instance, apply to your dream school because you imagine yourself going there instead of skipping the application because you’re probably not qualified.

[Edit]Surround yourself with people you admire.

1. Believe it or not, the character of the people around you rubs off on you. Think about who you respect—a father, mother, grandparent, teacher, or friend. What makes them admirable? Why do you respect them? Is there a quality in them you wish you had? Pay attention to what makes this person commendable and successful—what can you do to become the same?^[2]
   
   • For example, say you admire how your best friend can always speak their mind. Maybe you can gain the same skill by vocalizing your opinions or speaking more in class.
   • Hang out with people older than you. Older generations may have a different perspective than you, but you never know what stories or lessons you’ll learn.
   • Make friends with someone different from you. Everyone has a story, and you can learn a lot from people who have a different story from your own. So, broaden your social circle and talk to people you may not normally talk to.

[Edit]Step outside of your comfort zone.

1. Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations helps build character. Take a chance and gradually start doing things you normally wouldn’t do. Volunteer at a food bank, attend a concert for a band you don’t know, or take the scenic route home. The more you push yourself, the more you’ll grow.^[3]
   
   • When finding ways to get out of your comfort zone, think about things you liked when you were younger. You might go back to an old hobby, for instance, or try something you used to think would never be possible.^[4]

[Edit]Take on an uncomfortable job at least once.

1. Having a difficult job you don’t enjoy can help you learn patience and empathy. Not every job is fun, and that’s okay! Why? Because it builds character. So, sign up to clean up after the school dance or apply for a job flipping burgers. Having a difficult job not only helps you gain life experience, but it also gives you an opportunity to learn about other people's struggles.
   
   • For instance, you’ll never truly understand the hardships of someone working in a fast-food restaurant until you do it yourself.

[Edit]Empathize with other people and their situations.

1. Learning to empathize will make you a better person. When you empathize with someone, you understand and identify with their feelings. Not only does this help you build trust with others, but it also helps you be approachable, which are both excellent personality traits to have.^[5]
   
   • Let’s say a friend skips out on plans last minute. Instead of being upset with them, you can show empathy by reassuring them that you can reschedule and asking how they’re doing physically and mentally.
   • To put it in perspective, Abraham Lincoln handled setbacks and practiced patience by showing kindness and empathy, even with his enemies.

[Edit]Be supportive.

1. Someone with strong character is always there to lend a helping hand. Say a friend or family member is going through a rough patch. Rather than ignoring them, offer your assistance. The best thing you can do is show them you’re always there for them, even if they don’t accept the help right away.
   
   • See if you can pick up their groceries, drive them to work, or mow their lawn. Consider what needs to get done, and ask if you can help.
   • A “helping hand” doesn’t have to be something physical. Tell your loved one they can call you at any time to vent—you’ll be ready with an open ear!

[Edit]Stay humble and kind.

1. Kindness and humility are important traits to develop. There’s no denying that the world isn’t always the kindest place; however, even when life challenges you, try your best to be nice. Let peace win over anger, and avoid making judgments. Think of it this way: if you put good vibes out into the world, positive energy will find you in return.^[6]
   
   • For instance, let’s say your little sister steals your shirt. Even though you're angry and annoyed, take a deep breath and approach the situation calmly. Maybe you ask why she needs the shirt or offer a fair trade.
   • Along with being kind to others, it’s also just as important to be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself positively and reframe negative thoughts. For example, “I look awful today” can be changed to, “I had fun with my friends last night and didn’t get much sleep. It’s okay that I look a little tired.”^[7]

[Edit]Mange your emotions.

1. Learn to control how you react when you're upset. Getting angry or upset is inevitable, but building character is all about controlling those emotions. Learn to manage your emotions through one or more of these destressing activities:^[8]
   
   • Journal
   • Yoga
   • Run or walk
   • Play video games
   • Listen to music

[Edit]Chat with all types of people.

1. A person of character can communicate openly and honestly with everyone. So, sit down and have a conversation with a stranger. Who knows? You may just learn something new and make a new friend. After all, the best leaders create environments where people feel safe to express their opinions.^[9]
   
   • Even the simplest conversation can make someone’s day and improve your self-esteem. Talk to the barista when you grab your morning coffee, or ask the cashier at the grocery store how their day is going.
   • Reserve venting about your emotions for trusted loved ones. Opening up about deeply personal issues with a stranger could be dangerous because you’ve just met them.

[Edit]Lose graciously.

1. Being a good person isn’t dependent on winning. Believe it or not, the best leaders and people are open to losing. Learn to accept your losses by shrugging off your failures, admitting defeat, and trying again.^[10]
   
   • Think of a loss as a new beginning rather than a missed opportunity. For instance, getting third place in a race is still a huge success, and now you know what you need to improve on to get that gold medal next time.
   • Start small by practicing how you react when you lose a board game or get a bad test score. Keep your chin up, focus on what you can do better, and avoid lashing out.
   • While it's important to be a good loser, it’s also important to be a good winner. Skip the bragging and be humble to demonstrate a strong character.

[Edit]Practice self-discipline.

1. Having high character is about doing the right thing. Some choices are easy, while others are hard. When 2 choices are pinned together, choose the right choice over the easier option to build your character. Think about your morals, listen to your gut, and discipline yourself. Try asking yourself, “What choice would be the most responsible and aligned with my goals?”
   
   • Remember, the more you push yourself, the stronger you’ll be. Even if the right choice is more difficult, you can accomplish it if you put your mind to it.
   • For example, say you get to choose between 2 projects at school or work. One of the assignments will take you a matter of hours—you’ve done plenty like it before. The other project, however, has multiple steps and new instructions. If you choose the more difficult project, you’ll enrich your skills and become stronger.

[Edit]Challenge yourself with difficult goals.

1. A person of character challenges themselves and others to be better. If you want to have a strong character, start by leading by example. Whether you’re at school or work, volunteer for additional projects and commit to doing them correctly. Staying accountable and challenging yourself mentally and/or physically can help you become a stronger and more responsible person.^[11]
   
   • In school, challenge yourself to do the best work possible, even if that doesn’t mean getting a 100%.
   • At work, ask for extra responsibilities, stay late to finish a project, or go above and beyond with your notes. All in all, challenge yourself to make your work satisfactory.
   • At home, challenge yourself to complete a hobby in your free time. Write a book, learn to play guitar, or take on the 75 Soft Challenge.

[Edit]Be a doer, not a talker.

1. An easy way to grow your character is to be accountable. Take responsibility for your actions, and keep your promises. If you say you’re going to do something, do it! Make a to-do list every morning of what needs to get done, then aim to check everything off your list before you go to bed.
   
   • Set up a morning routine (or evening routine if you’re a night owl) to start the day on a positive note. A productive start can be enough to motivate you for the rest of the day.

[Edit]Let setbacks motivate you.

1. Failure is just a speed bump on the way to getting what you want. An easy way to build your character and drive is to continue pushing on despite setbacks. Let failure motivate you rather than discourage you. Take every obstacle as a new opportunity to grow.^[12]
   
   • For instance, say you didn’t win your tennis match. Instead of getting angry at yourself or your opponent, learn from your mistakes. Practice and train more so you can beat them next time.
   • Try thinking about failure mathematically. Each failure is just a wrong answer, eliminating one choice and bringing you closer to the right answer.

[Edit]Focus on guiding your own fate and decisions.

1. Strong character is about making your own decisions. In psychology, your perception of who or what governs your life is called Locus of Control. The term is divided into 2 categories: external locus and internal locus. Those with an external locus believe their behavior is controlled by fate or luck, whereas those with an internal locus believe they influence their own decisions and choices. Taking control of your life is an important part of developing character, so focus on making your own choices rather than letting other forces decide your fate.^[13]
   
   • For instance, rather than waiting for your crush to ask you out, walk up to them and make the first move.
   • Now, this isn’t to say fate and luck don’t have some say in how things work out. But relying heavily on external forces can hinder your ability to take responsibility for your actions, minimizing your character.

[Edit]Dream big and define your goals.

1. One of the best ways to build character is to chase your dreams. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What do I want in life?” If you want to be a musician, move to the big city, form a band, and start gigging. No dream is too big, as the journey to it can help you stay focused and become a better version of yourself.^[14]
   
   • Write down your short-term and long-term goals. What can you do to achieve them?
   • Your short-term goals may be writing a novel, getting an A on an essay, or signing up for a class.
   • Your long-term goals could be becoming a published author, graduating college, or learning a new language.

[Edit]Identify your purpose.

1. Understand what you want to become the person you want to be. Analyze your life goals—what do they all have in common? What’s the end goal? Think about how and what you’re interested in giving back to the world. Then, use that as a starting point for what to do next.^[15]
   
   • Say you want to graduate and become a nurse. Perhaps your life purpose is to care for others and save lives.
   • Maybe you want to be a journalist. Your purpose could be to advocate for others or showcase a different life perspective.

[Edit]Learn to recognize and embrace your defining moments.

1. Analyzing the past can help you grow. Think about a time when you were challenged physically or mentally—when was the last time you felt tested? This moment is a defining moment in your life. Recognizing these moments can help you understand your choices, grow from your mistakes, and become stronger.^[16]
   
   • For instance, let’s say you missed the winning shot of a basketball game. Recall how you reacted in that moment. Is there something you’d change about it? If so, can you make those changes to your character now?
   • Try to imagine all the possible outcomes of a given situation. If you're thinking about moving across the country to pursue a career in acting, what might happen? What will happen if you stay? Can you live with either outcome?

[Edit]Commit to self-improvement.

1. Building character isn’t something you learn overnight; it’s a life-long lesson. If you want to be someone others look to for inspiration, make an active effort to improve yourself day in and day out. Pick one thing you’d like to work on each day and be patient with yourself—self-improvement takes time.^[17]
   
   • For example, maybe you want to be a good listener. Focus on mindfully listening one day and asking insightful questions the next. Then, you can combine what you learned from both days to improve your listening skills.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Keep in mind that there is no easy path to the things you want. If you want to learn a skill or master something, it takes effort and dedication (which builds character).
• Use a journal or calendar to track your progress and see how far you’ve come.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Build Self Confidence
• Regain Confidence
• Build Self‐Control
• Develop Self‐Esteem
• Brag Without Being Arrogant

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.sdstate.edu/ness-school-management-and-economicsblog/importance-taking-risks
2. ↑ [v161309_b02]. 22 April 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201512/5-benefits-stepping-outside-your-comfort-zone
4. ↑ [v161309_b02]. 22 April 2020.
5. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/?sh=62a9b89b3dc5
6. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness/kindness-matters-guide
7. ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/04/kindness-happiness-negative-feedback/673862/
8. ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/helpful-vs-harmful-ways-manage-emotions
9. ↑ https://www.harvardbusiness.org/good-leadership-it-all-starts-with-trust/
10. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/kidspost/losing-gracefully-is-one-of-the-most-important-lessons-from-playing-sports/2020/11/18/9faf1280-2386-11eb-8672-c281c7a2c96e_story.html
11. ↑ https://www.hult.edu/blog/using-challenges-as-an-opportunity-to-build-character/
12. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/07/use-failure-as-an-opportunity-to-reflect-on-your-strengths
13. ↑ https://www.usmcu.edu/Portals/218/What%20is%20Locus%20of%20Control%20by%20James%20Neill.pdf
14. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffboss/2017/01/19/5-reasons-why-goal-setting-will-improve-your-focus/?sh=674e2517534a
15. ↑ [v161309_b02]. 22 April 2020.
16. ↑ https://www.viacharacter.org/topics/articles/what-are-your-defining-moments
17. ↑ https://blogs.illinois.edu/view/8605/1833882347

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